Lord keep me busy....

Today is a good day, I'm pushing forward.  My oldest arrow is off for lunch and a movie with her Uncle, my little brother.  He just graduated from college last week and we haven't seen him in so long.  It's good for him to bond with the kids.  They love their Uncle Trav. soooooo much.  The other kids are very jealous of her "private uncle time" and happy for her too.  I can't wait to hear about all they did!

I am going to a "homeschool" store today to buy some used curriculum.  I'm trying to prepare ahead of time for next year.  Trying to busy myself with things to keep my mind from feeling so lonely.  I've realized that when I am idle I am lonelier, depressed, and sad.  That is when the uncontrollable urge to cry all day sets in and I don't get off the bed.  The kids are really feeling the loneliness because mom isn't doing a good job of keeping them busy enough.  I wish I had the stamina to get up and just go, but it physically hurts most days to get up.  I hate this feeling!!!  I want so badly to shake it.  I lay in bed at night and pray that the next day will be better, I beg God to give me the strength to get out of bed.  The next day comes and the hurt over powers all other things.  However, today God prevailed and won the battle this morning.  I was able to get up and move.  I have to force myself NOT to turn on the tv or just lay there a few more minutes.....and today we are up and the house is hopping!  I pray all days could be like this, busy. 

Lord, let me be busy everyday.  Busy for you, busy focusing on your children and your will.  Keep my hands and feet from idleness.  Keep my head clear of the voices that say "its ok, try again tomorrow."  Lord I know its not ok, its not your plan....help me to seek you and only you to fill the void I feel in my heart.  Amen.

What does our future hold???

I am often amazed to hear people talk about the future as if they don't know what is happening. I mean, this is from faithful believers, faithful Christians that I have known most of my life or at least for a long time. I have listened to everyone talk about this past election with fear, anger, and uncertainty. I find this interesting because the Bible tells us so differently!!

God is in complete control. He knew who would be president before we voted, He knows what will happen, His will is being laid out before us. We are all deserving of Gods wrath, but He has given us a way out through Christ. I spoke to people yesterday that were upset, down and depressed about the outcome of the election. I almost laugh.....really? Where is your faith? What has happened? I have been studying lately about timidity and fear. Ummmm, you know....the things that God tell us NOT to be.

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:6-7

Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life. Revelation 2:10

Scripture is pretty clear there.....we are being tested and God didn't give us a spirit of fear. We should be seeking God's word, His will, laying face down before Him in repentance. I have found myself teaching my kids differently...instead of teaching them the Bible says this about obeying and honoring, we are covering why we make the choices we do. Our HEARTS are wicked and full of evil.

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34

Yesterday I spoke to the girls about the heart, their hearts, and why we choose the things we do...because of our selfish desire to please ourselves and not God. It was a good lesson and one that I needed. It made me humble myself before them, show them the error of my ways and their ways too. I don't want my kids to think, Mommy is perfect, she doesn't sin, how do you do that? Because truthfully I am such a worm, a despicable worm and so worthy of everything that God would give me, but He saved me. He sent His Son for me....and you.

So, what shall I do in this time? Shall I fear? NO....I will look at my life, seek God's face, bow my face before the throne of God, get on my knees, pray, and study God's word more. I will seek to live the life God would have me live and I ask you, please do the same!!

So, now have a Blessed Day and remember to not fear, but put on the spirit of POWER, LOVE and SELF CONTROL!!!