Babies......

Babies, Babies, everywhere!! I have 2 dear friends that just had babies. One had a baby boy and I got to see, hold and cuddle him last night. It was wonderful to hold a child so small in my arms again. It made me miss that stage all the more. My son is only weeks away from being 1 year already. I often wonder where the time goes and why can't life just SLOW down....let me enjoy this moment. It feels like a just had him and now he is crawling, pulling up, babbling, throwing, eating big boy food and looking more like his daddy everyday. I just miss that newborn cuddly stage.


Then another friend of mine gave birth to a baby girl. This is their first baby since her husband's reversal, so an extra special reason to celebrate the life of this child. She has 3 girls now and we can't wait to see her. I spoke on the phone with the mom today and she sounded great! I could hear the baby coo in the background and I just got chills all over.

How do women know that they are done? Will God give me peace? Do I have all I can handle? If I had another would I get put on bed rest again? Too many questions. I am just not ready to close the door on that part of my life. I don't know how other people do it. I know this is my calling, but can I still fulfil my calling without more children and devote my time to the precious ones I have....why can't I be content with that? What is wrong with me? I am blessed, so wonderfully blessed and yet I can't find that peace about a part of my life being done/over/finished.

Sorry for venting, but that is why I started this blog...to put my feelings out there and release them. Pray for me....I obviously need it. :)