Thursday, March 25, 2010


Better days have passed.  I still feel the struggle of depression knocking at my door, but there have been a couple better days.  Today, while waiting on my eldest arrow to finish her science class, I sat in the car reading a book while the other children played on the playground.  I have read this book before and it warranted reading again, since the first time didn't "take" for me.  You know those books that are great, full of good information, but you failed to put it into action in your life?  Anyway, I am now reading "Homeschooling with a meek and quiet spirit" by Teri Maxwell  GREAT book for anyone that wishes to be that calm, soft spoken homeschool mom that doesn't lose her temper every single time something goes wrong.  As I was saying, I'm reading it for a 2nd time hoping and praying that something sticks this time.

Today I was reading the chapter on Fear and Worry......ah, this is perfect for me to read.  I immediately thought, "the Lord has something to teach me today....wake up, pay attention, don't let anything distract you."  As I read this chapter I see so much of what I am facing.  FEAR is taking over my emotions, fear is trying to run my life, but fear is NOT OF GOD!!  Then I read these bible verses that I already know, but they finally start to click in my mind and my heart starts to respond.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2Timothy 1:7

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Finally I think I'm understanding, you mean if I stop worrying over every little detail of friendships, school, relationships, and church and PRAY....hand it over to God, He will direct my path?  And I will show my children that there is joy in Godly obedience???!!!  OK....I think I'm getting this!  Finally, I feel some relief.  I don't control everything, although I would like to, but God controls it all.  I can rely on Him to help me be a better teacher to my kids, He will provide friends, and He will care for every need.  Wow...what a wonderful, loving and merciful God I serve because He knows, I will try, but I will also fail.

Lord Jesus, may I hold dear these teachings you had for me today.  Make them new to me everyday, write them on my heart forevermore, and may I truly take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ!! Amen.

I have known these truths for so long, but today they feel fresh and new.  Isn't it wonderful to know that God has so much for us to learn from His word, even when we think we already know so much?!  I love it!  I can't believe there are people out there that say the bible is outdated and does not teach us anything about today.  Oh how sad and wrong those people are and I pray that they would turn from their ways and see His glory!

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